Adapt Better to Conversations/People

11 Apr

Welcome back, readers.

 

   I had to write about this topic. I feel everyone could get better at meeting anyone in any scenario and be comfortable doing so. I’ll try to create a general list of common types of people and what to do with them.

 

The Importance: This is a great attribute for anyone in any trade. In life , your goal is all about selling yourself. In an interview, your work for the day, presenting ideas, adding to a conversation, etc… Sell who you are not only physically, but verbally, too. So, by learning the general types of people and knowing some tips will help you tremendously.

 

So, let’s start with a very uncomfortable type:

The Talking Heads live events use the art of c...

A picture of a guy who appears to be at an “all-water” party. 

I’m The Boss, Applesauce Type: This type of person, if not handed correctly, could put you in very uncomfortable situations. The key to overcoming this type is confidence. This type could say or do anything to get their way, make you look foolish, or get you to do something they wouldn’t want to do. It’s a power game with these people. THE WORST thing to do is match their tone or try to counter what their doing with more intensity. Controlling a controller is a dangerous game. If it comes to the point where you have to agree with them just so they can’t hear themselves talk, be careful. It’s only appropriate to do this occasionally and only on topics that can’t come back to haunt you. But, if you’re looking for a short-term way to adapt to this person, this is the way to do it.

 

Let’s go the opposite route. People who are generally uncomfortable.

 

Shy/Individualist Type: This type likes their space. Learn what their boundaries are as quickly as you can to become triumphant in gaining trust in a timid, shallow pool. Although everyone is different, I’ve learned when talking to this type, they would rather prefer to be spoke to 1 on 1  or a small group. You should match their tone, occasionally bringing out a comfortable side to yourself, throw in universal humor, but beware. If you strike them the wrong way, it’s is very difficult to recover. Although, if you can show them you are comfortable, chances are if you do it correctly, they will become comfortable, too. In my opinion, learning to adapt to the shy/individual type is very rewarding. They’re masterfully mysterious and have a lot to bring to the table.

 

Let’s speed it up with a more electric type of person.

 

2 Pots Of Coffee Type: We all probably know someone like this, who doesn’t? This is one of the more easier types to work with. They tend to have a tendency to lead, even if they themselves do not realize it. Let them lead, unless it’s gearing you or your group in the wrong path, let them take over the conversation when you see fit. If you like to grab attention, this one you’re going to have a play a role where you don’t interfere by impeding their progress towards an objective or a conversation topic. Simply build off of them.

 

This one is another type i enjoy.

 

Not So Native To This Land Type: This type can easily branch into any of the other types I’ve listed, but the overall feel is the same principle. Speak slower, more clearly, and listen to them the best you can. They’re used to being neglected, mainly due to a lack in communication. I found that being interested in what they have to say and asking basic questions really gets them to open up and want to share things with you. They may not know every word in the English language, but you can certainly take advantage by bringing humor in the subject. Make shapes or play charades almost. It’s an instant win-over.

 

Kick Back, 6-Pack Type: They could be a pain in the ass, especially when getting something done quickly or getting something done at all. THE WORST thing to do is try to command them. Instead, suggest. Match their tone if necessary to show them that your versatile. They usually get the bad end of the stick because they’ve probably earned it their whole lives. but, don’t exploit that. If you have to, give them an incentive or reward. It ignites an immediate spark and keep in mind that their attention span is usually low, tending to gravitate to a few things they really like. If there’s an opportunity to fuse a not so loved interest with one of their favorites, you hit a homer, slugger. To have a good conversation, learn their favorite topics and see if you have some input of your own to contribute. But, keep it boxer brief, that’s their attitude anyways.

 

Expressionless Type: Sometimes very difficult to ever get a solid read on their thoughts and emotions. Keep it short if you’re finding it increasingly difficult to crack this safe box. This type likes to always keep visual contact, so mock that. It will show numerous signs that you’re not intimidated. Almost along the guidelines of “the boss” type.

 

The “Wise” Type: They may suggest they are wise, but sometime I think they like to hear themselves ramble and tell you how great/not so great life once was. You must be patient with them, they’re quick to judge. Give them your full attention, even if you don’t like the topic, they will build respect for you just for nodding your head and occasionally chiming in. Speak clearly to them, especially. The conversation should flow evenly.

 

So, there’s a few. What problems have you encountered? How bad am I at writing? Do you like Chinese? Share your thoughts.

 

– Tyler J. Cuda

 

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